Fear of God/ Love of God

I have recently been reading, at the suggestion of the amazing Jo Peters, the book 'Closer Still' by Scott Evans (an Irish lad). Seeing as I am actually blogging about it, I think it is the one book that has resulted in this much of a reaction, as it drives this much of a knife through my life and experience of myself, Church, Evangelical Christianity and even God Himself.

Firstly, I imagine that if I, or Andy, wrote a Christian book together this would look a little like it (though ours would have genius parables and metaphors from Andy, and a lot more scriptural quotations [and some non-scripture ones] from me]

Secondly, he has taken some stuff further than Andy and I in our discussions.

Thirdly, there's stuff in there that's blah. One might think 'how good can a book by a guy who gets most of his theology and inspiration from Rob Bell be?' But remember, up until 'Love Wins' Rob Bell was actually cool and said SOME good stuff.

But, up to chapter 6, these two things have caught my attention un-waveringly (I like using wave as much as possible)

I posted this on FB on Tues."God, Jesus and the Spirit are sitting by the fire worrying about their sons/brothers who have gone astray and are doing all sorts, they worry about their hearts and what state they will be in when they come home from all their 'fun'. They also worry about the other brothers who are so busy trying to earn their place beside the fire that they are not taking it. "Unable to passively watch, they concoct a plan that only a mad God could come up with, for the eldest Son to pursue His brothers and loose the chains that bind them to every place other than home." from 'Closer Still'.

This is true... God is INSANE, only He would come up with a mad plan like this... I oft' wonder why? For example, He is God, and can do anything, so why not wave (see, wave again) sin gone? But He didn't, He sent Jesus and on that cross He poured out waves of God's mercy, love, forgiveness, acceptance and grace.
Wowzers...

Then after that I posted (on Thurs.) this
""... it has been so hard for me to see (God) as (anything) more than angry, petty and rules-obsessed... (He watched my life) ready to strike when I stepped out of line or broke one of His ridiculous rules." -Scott Evans (my brackets)

I just wonder how similar my experience of God is like this... "The biggest battle of my Christian life has been feeling at home with God." -Evans.

Sure, I think of

 Him as a friend, but a Father, the closest person to me... I think I experience the top than the reality of what God is like. How much am I held back in my relationship with God because of some of the things the Church teaches about Him.

"God is love" 1 John 4:9 and "perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18"

Now, I'm not saying that I only see God this way, but I am so legalistic (I'm not ridiculously legalistic but I am possibly stupidly legalistic)... I see God's law as being so important 'cos if we break it we will be in doodoo, and we don't want Him to be mad with us... He is God, all-powerful.

I am wondering if my legalism, and biblicalism, are, instead of being a solid grounding in the Bible's case, being an anchor. Am I not Spirit-led to the extent I could be, and God designed me to be, because of these things? How do I let the Spirit take over more? Especially in order for it not to be reactionary and then I do mad things like bark in Church

(imagine it... would never happen)

but it could, and it shouldn't.

At the same time Evans tells this amazing story about a guy named only as Philip. He found a girl, fell in love and planned to settle down. Two weeks before their wedding she died of cancer. I cannot imagine that pain... Sometime later Philip was talking to God and asked "What's the big deal? What's with all the rules? Why do you hate sin so much?"

God replied, "Philip, why do you hate cancer so much?"

"Because cancer stole from me the person I love most."

"Well, that's why I hate sin." God said.

If God hates sin but loves rules John 3:16 starts "For God so loved all rules that..." It doesn't go that way though, it goes "For God so loved the world..." "For God so loved Wavey*..." "For God so loved David Cowpar*..." (I have actual tears)

* I can't believe I'm going to tell you this... The reason I have so taken to the nickname Wavey, making it such a huge part of my life and identity is because I think of David Cowpar as a lot more sinful and less godly than Wavey. Wavey knows God more than David Cowpar, love Him more and follows Him more closely. So to think "God so loved David Cowpar that He sent Jesus, that if David believes in Him, he would not perish but have everlasting life," is so much more unbelievable than I can handle. (I promise I am not schizophrenic)

Anyways, no more fearing God, and my place at His table; which He has set, despite the fact I deserve to be left out in the cold. Praise God for His love and grace :) He has journeyed to rescue me, He gave up everything to save me from sin (my destruction of myself). That's my God!

Milk

Have you clicked into this because you are wondering 'what could he possibly be saying about milk'?

Maybe I'm going to talk about how it comes from cows?
Perhaps I will talk about the fact that it has to be pasteurized (in my day this was heating the milk to 75 degrees for 15 seconds but I am fairly sure it has already changed) to kill off bad bacteria and homogenised to mix the cream in?
Or maybe I will talk about the cost of milk. 2 litres €1.29 in Dealz, €1.49 in Dunnes/Tesco, €1.57 in Daybreak, €1.70 in Highfield Meatstores. €2.20 for Dawn, €2.27 for that other one...

No, it's about none of those things (although I have shneaky shneaky talked about them all).

I want to talk about Colman and milk.
Colman, for those of you who don't know him, is my housemate. He is 25, a tourism ambassador for Cork city and generally a really good guy with a few quirks like most people.

One such of these quirks is what the young fella does with milk...
Some context: Colman uses milk in tea. He rarely eats cereal and uses milk for nothing else.

Now, in the fridge it would not be uncommon to find 4-8 litres of milk that are Colman's (he puts a 'C' on the lid) which is mad because all the man uses it for is TEA...

Sometimes it goes off... but we won't go into that.

Other times Colman freezes his milk.

I'll let you read ^ that sentence again, because I understand it will be hard to take in.

Colman FREEZES his milk.

Have you ever seen frozen milk? First it expands in the sealed carton making the carton all strange and deformed, like Quasimodo had he been beaten up with baseball bats repeatedly. Second it turns an off yellow, headed towards green (sort of like melted and refrozen vanilla Walls ice-cream) and third, it looks really weird to see milk in the freezer.

Imagine the scene if you will. It's Saturday, Colman is gone for the weekend and I go open the freezer to take out chicken (which is pretty much what I eat everyday) and, blocking my chicken, is two litres of frozen, yellow-green milk. The carton has expanded in a way that, looking at it, you wonder if, when that milk becomes liquid again, it will actually prove to have ruptured and hencely the milk will spill everywhere.

I remember wondering the first time I witnessed this phenomenon, did he put it in the wrong door?
He couldn't have, though, could he? How would you not notice you were putting something in the freezer? It's like 200% colder than the fridge (I made that statistic up) and comes complete with ice around the edges.
It was purposeful...

Thawing it out on Monday is always hilarious. It has, like, a Golly Bar (HB plain vanilla ice-cream on a wooden stick, big in the nineties, off the market since the turn of the century) in the milk for a day or so.
Interesting the colour goes back to proper milky white, which is so odd as it looks not unlike pee in the freezer. The only bad things are: 1. it takes up valuable freezer space and 2. the bottle no longer stands up in the fridge.

Now I wanted to know. Is this weird? Or is it just me that finds it weird thus, actually, making me the weird one?

Have you/do you/would you ever freeze your milk for storage purposes?

Okay, that's me done on milk.
Go mbeannaí Dia duit.

The Incomparable

This is not originally mine...

A couple of thousand years ago there was a man born contrary to the laws of life!

This man lived in poverty and was reared in obscurity. He did not travel extensively. Only once did He cross the boundary of the country in which He lived; that was during His exile in childhood.

He possessed neither wealth nor influence. His relatives were inconspicuous, and had neither training nor formal education.

In infancy He startled a King; in childhood He puzzled scholars; in manhood He ruled the courses of nature, walked upon the waves as if pavements, and hushed the Sea to sleep. He healed multitudes without medicine and charged nothing for His service.

He never wrote a book, yet all the libraries of the World could not hold the books that have been written about Him.

He never wrote a song, yet He has furnished a theme for more songs then all songwriters combined.

He never founded a college, but all the schools put together cannot boast of having as many students as He!

He never marshaled an army, nor drafted a soldier, nor fired a gun; yet no leader has had more volunteers who are ready to fight and die for His cause, not with weapons but, under His orders, with words.

He never practiced psychiatry, yet He has healed more broken hearts and sorted out more problems than all the counselors ever!

The names of past proud statesmen have come and gone. The names of past scientists, philosophers and theologians have come and gone; but the name of this man abounds more and more.

Though time has spanned almost two thousand years between the people of today and the day of His death, yet He still lives.
Herod, the King at His time, could not destroy Him, and the grave could not hold Him. He stands out on the highest point of Heavenly glory, chosen by God, acknowledged by Angels, adored by saints and feared by devils demons and anything else from the Pit as the Living, Personal Christ, our Lord and Saviour, if we chose Him to be!
We are either going to be eternally with Him or eternally without Him.

Who is He?

He is Love itself.

He is Jesus Christ!

Bedtime Little Fly

This is a short story about a fly learning about life as a fly and what kind of dangers they need to watch out for. (Note humungours are humans)

“Time for bed little fly,” mummy fly called from across the room.

“Five more minutes,” the little fly buzzed.

“Be careful of that hand.”

“I will.”

“Come here now,” mummy fly shouted from a nook in the room above a high display cabinet.

The Little fly flew towards his mother buzzing in a way that allowed his mum to know that he was not happy with her.

“What have I told you about the humungours?” Mrs fly said, “you need to be so careful of the humungours. Legend has it that the humungours built everything around us. They control the whole of the world. They also do not like flies and will do everything they can to destroy us. Not even kill us, destroy us.

“I had an aunt once who was part of the biggest family of flies we know of. There were hundreds of them. Anyway the humungours eventually called other humungours and they came and sprayed the house with some rain that killed all of my aunt’s family. One escaped to warn other parts of the family not to live in too close to each other as otherwise the humungours might kill us all with that rain they used on my aunt.”

“I know mum,” little fly replied, “I know that when I’m buzzing I have to be careful of the humungours flattening me with their hands or fly flatteners.”

“Exactly, and you know when you are flying? When you stop and move naturally towards what is below you, the ground the humungours call it. Don’t land there. There are fliers called Wasps, that often land on the ground and the humungours squish them under their legs, which are much bigger than ours.

While we are talking about this, a little fly should stay away from wasps. They have the ability to inject you with poison which will kill you a slow and painful death. Wasps are the greediest of all fliers, obviously the humungours are the greediest of all creatures living on the planet. Wasps want to take the flower dust, that bees use to make their food, for themselves; even though they do nothing with it. They are called drones because they have one track minds. The only thing they can think of doing is looking for food for their leader; fat wasp female. If you get in the way of any wasps they will kill you. Avoid them at all costs. Some humungours are scared of them, I have never known of a humungour that was scared of a fly; but many fear wasps.”

“Okay mum, can I go now,” little fly said.

“Wait wait,” mummy fly replied, “I need to tell you about the ground. If you land on the ground the humungours might step on you. Although they have only two legs they are much bigger than our legs. They use them to squish every type of flier and creeper they come across. Be so careful that if you land you land not on the ground but on things that the humungours will perceive you as upside down or vertical as they generally will not squish you then.”

“How do I know if I am upside down to them though?” little fly asked.

“When you are flying generally, the way your legs point is towards the ground. See down there,” mummy fly said looking from their nook over the display cabinet, “that’s the ground,” she said as she took to the air.

Her buzz was less excitable and fast then that of her little fly, “see when I fly, my legs naturally point down that way.”

“Okay,” little fly said as he buzzed as well, “so then this is the upper place we should land,” little fly said as he landed on the ceiling.

“The humungours build their buildings a little too tall for themselves, meaning that they cannot reach us up there without help from something else.”

“Is there anything else I should be worrying about?” little fly said hoping all of this information could be sorted all at once.

“As well as humungours, the ground and wasps?” mummy fly said as she thought about what else little fly needs to avoid, “well,” she began, “there are cats, dogs, bats and some other animals, smaller than humungours, that will eat you if you get too close to them. There are lights that will burn you to death. Lights are things that allow humungours to see. They even have special ones, that are blue and warm; but they are specially used to kill fliers and creepers.”

“Have you ever seen one of the blue lights mum?”

“No, sometimes I think things such as blue lights are flying myths, but one cannot be too careful of these things little fly. You need to watch out for eight leg strings too.”

“What are eight leg strings?”

“They are these tiny little wires that we can barely see, but they are terribly sticky. They are spun by the eight legs. The eight legs eat flies as well as cats, bats, dogs and other animals. They are creepers though, but unlike normal creepers the eight legs have two extra legs. They spin these strings, which we cannot see, and when we fly into them we get stuck. Then the eight legs inject us with poison and we die and they eat us.”

“Mum?” little fly asked.

“Yes son?”

“Is there anything in the world that doesn’t try and eat us?”

“Yes, butterflies don’t,” mummy fly said as little fly settled down to sleep.

“Mummy?” little fly said sleepily.

“Yes little fly?”

“I like butterflies the bestest.”

“Me too, little fly, now, get some sleep.” Mummy fly said as the humungour turned off the light.

Romeo Promotes the ODDs

Romeo is one of the main characters from the second ODDs. In this extract he is making a video to promote the ODDs (which in turn promotes the ODDs second book).

Hi, I realise this is kind of weird because none of you know me. My name is Romeo Stanley Theodore Newhagen, people call me Rostantheo for short. Recently I found out I have the potential to be the next Water Empowered. You have most likely just figured out that you have that same potential. The potential to be something, to make a mark on the world, to be remembered and to have a purpose. That time is not yet. The Water Empowered is a person, chosen by some force or another, and given superhuman strength, speed and healing. They also have the power to create and manipulate water. There have been four Water Empowered, always guys, so far. The first was James Games, he is now dead, but you can meet his brother, Chris Games, as he works with the ODDs; or the Organisation of Demon Destroyers, I’ll tell you more about them later. The second Water Empowered had a name close to Amerigo Vespucci, he’s dead too. Then there is the main man, the boss of the ODDs, David Murphy, the third Water Empowered, he died too, but he managed to survive death and is okay now. His death led to Peter Darling becoming the fourth Water Empowered. There’s also a Lightning Empowered, Fire Empowered and a Green Empowered.

The ODDs is an organisation based in Limerick, Ireland, it was established last year by Christopher Games, who has the stupid title of Guider. Basically he is the guy that trains David. The ODDs is made up of Guiders, Empowered, people who could be Empowered and then various others who believe in the cause. We have a doctor who tends to all our medical needs as well.

I have been asked to tell you what to expect when you get to the ODDs. The likelihood, if you are potentially one of the Empowered, is that you have been told you have a destiny. Don’t let that go to your head. My parents are two big shots in Hollywood. I have always felt like a nobody because my identity has been wrapped up in them. I am just the son of the Newhagen’s. I have always felt alone. When I was told I had a destiny it gave me such hope for my life. I felt like a somebody. That destiny thing is a load of crap. You will come here and be only one of an ever growing number of what the Guiders call Possibles. That’s a disgusting word. It says that you are nothing and only possibly something or someone. When you get here you will realise how true that is. There is a big distinction between the real ODDs and the Possibles.

“Romeo stop, stick to what we rehearsed; you can tell us about your life but let’s not scare people off yeah?”

Fine. I have been told not to say too much bad so imagine some bad things. Those who are found to have the potential to be Water Empowered are dividing into groups and these groups take on various training sessions, often led by David and a guy called Jut, who is also a magic user. Chris and David share fighting classes. Generally there are four of these classes a week. As well as that tutors come into the ODDs headquarters and teach some subjects. Some of us go to a local school or two, but at this stage we have filled all their available places.

I think you will like it here. You get to do some really interesting things like learning to make water come out of a bottle, with just the power of your mind and a few magic words. The one for water is ulca by the way. I do wonder what actual practical applications making water float out of a bottle has? It’s pretty impressive to look at, right? But in an actual conflict situation the last thing you will require is 500ml of floating water. Yeah, yeah, water powers are very important, especially when utilised by the Water Empowered. Where was I? Oh yes, generally we sleep in dorms in the groups we train in. There are normally about thirty to forty others in a dorm. The dorms are nice enough, although I don’t like sharing with so many people, being an only child.

I am from Santa Barbara and in my house there are three family members. We have live in servants as well, but they sleep in a purpose built house for them. What I am trying to say is that I had three bedrooms for myself in my old house. Now I share with twenty-eight other young men that smell bad.

I often wonder how they cook for us all. There are roughly 100 people living with the ODDs now, although that number constantly fluctuates, but not a single one of them is a cook. Yet, somehow, miraculously, we are all fed and don’t have to cook for ourselves. Maybe they have brownies, or some similar fairy creature, to do it for them.

I’ve never been any good at closing things. Normally I would say ‘it’s late’ or ‘someone is calling me.’ Today, though, David has left me out of my class later to prepare this video that is to be sent to centres where new Possibles could be coming to us to. I have been Romeo Stanley Theodore Newhagen, you have been my viewers and this has been my video about why life with the ODDs is, as they would say in Limerick, ‘pure daycent kid...’ I hope we’ll get to meet more properly soon;

‘The ODDs: Chaos and Discord’ available on Kindle Summer 2013.

Hopefully, then you can meet me and all the gang. Okay, I’m going to go now. See you when you get here!